Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Even If

Image result for fear multiple sclerosis


That would probably be the number one emotion I have felt since my first episode a few years ago.

I could not feel my body. I could not walk or use my arms correctly. They did not know why. They did not know when or even if I would recover.

Much has changed since then. I recovered a lot and now they know why, but the fear remains.

I used to wonder if I would have another attack or new lesion. I used to pretend I wouldn't... but I did. Again and again.

Now I wonder when the next will be and I wonder what will be effected. Will I completely lose my vision? Will I lose my ability to pick up my children with my arms? To walk on my legs? To talk or sing?

Fear, to some degree, every hour... every day.

I didn't know what to do with this. I needed to place it somewhere so I could be in the present with my family, with my current health. But I carried it with me like a permanent appendage and I can assure you the impact was negative.

That was until today.

I haven't mentioned my faith on this blog because I wanted to remain neutral and talk about the facts, the science of nutrition and its effect on our bodies... but I can not do MS without my faith, without Him.

I trust in God and have for a long time, but I did not know how to reconcile this chronic illness and Him. I know He can do anything. He can, but what if He doesn't?

Today... I got my answer through a song from a precious friend. This isn't the first time God has used music to tip that place in my soul that is brimming with sorrow to show me the peace that can only be found in Him.

Even if.

Even if I lose my vision.

Even if I lose my legs or arms or even my voice.

My hope is Him alone... I will cling to Him come what may.

Yes, keep fighting the fight, but when we can't... when fear sets in, when relapse comes, this will be my song.

It is well with my soul,


Sunday, January 29, 2017

Short and VERY sweet!

I have been busy, but I promise I have been full!

When I tell people I refrain from gluten, dairy and sugar in my diet, the most common response is, "Then what DO you eat?". I eat plenty, trust me.

I plan to post a blog soon about what I eat on any given day, maybe a sample meal plan for a week and you will see that there is plenty to choose from. I can honestly say, I am never... ever... hungry.

The best part? I have maintained my goal weight for nearly a year NOT counting calories, NOT weighing food (or myself, except at doctor appointments), and NOT exercising... simply by avoiding gluten, dairy and sugar!

One of the ways I have been able to maintain this narrow eating mindset has been to make the breads and sweets that I have been accustomed to my whole life. I wanted to share one of these recipes with you because it does hit that sweet spot and they are as good as any "normal" cookie I've had, maybe even better?

So, without further ado...

Guilt Free Shortbread Thumbprints

Set oven to 350 degrees and gather
1/2 cup Smart Balance dairy-free butter
1/3 cup Splenda
1/4 tsp vanilla
1 cup Bob's Red Mill "1 to 1 Gluten free flour"
1/4 cup your favorite jam or jelly (Smucker's "Simply Fruit" is sugar free)
For glaze:
1/3 cup of "Swerve" sugar free confectioner's sweetener
1/2 tsp of vanilla or almond extract
water, enough to make the glaze thin enough to drizzle over cookies

Mix first four ingredients until well blended and then form into balls about 1" round. Press into top of each cookie with your finger leaving an indention, then fill each cookie with 1/4 tsp of jelly. 

Bake for 15-18 minutes, allow to cool. Mix glaze ingredients and put in a Ziploc bag towards one corner. Snip small amount of end off corner and drizzle glaze over each cookie.

It's almost embarrassing how easy this has been because I have spent years of my life running on treadmills, kick boxing to videos and doing without eating to loose weight. I will NEVER go that route again. Yes, I need to exercise but not hard core.

Enjoy this yummy treat and see if living this lifestyle is a possibility for you!

Keep up the fight!