Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Under Attack

I have hesitated writing on my blog for several reasons.

Big reasons.

Just within the last few weeks I:

  • had college finals for a full-time term
  • started a full-time summer semester
  • packed up our home (and five children) to move to another city
  • moved in, and, of course, I'm still unpacking
  • last, and certainly not least... I've had a new Multiple Sclerosis attack
The new attack posed a problem for me with this blog. I felt like I failed. My "solution" failed. I not only had a new attack, it was my fastest relapse to date.

As always with a new attack, it throws me for a curve. 

I know I have MS. 

I know it is characterized by a pattern of ongoing attacks, separated by months or years, with accumulating disability.

But after each attack, when I accept my "new normal" (aka whatever disability that leaves me with), I buckle down, decide I am going to do more to prevent attacks and I truly believe I will never have another one.

So when it does happen, I am so disappointed. Heart broken. 

I don't want to become more disabled over time! Who would? 

All of my life, when I've considered the future, it was always been brighter than today. Better than now. Glorious. Something to look forward to. More rest. More time. More health.

But when MS stares me in the face my future is uncertain and it is NOT glorious. I don't want to be negative, but do please allow me to be honest.

With this new attack, I lost most of the vision in my right eye. I could not see to walk correctly, drive without an eye patch , see color well and I could not read at all. I could not see the E at the top of an eye chart. Blind.

The name for this type of a MS attack is Optic Neuritis

I am three weeks from onset and my vision is still hindered, though it has gotten better than it was at its worst. It takes weeks to months to determine what damage will remain.

So what about my "solution for MS", my diet and juice plan to remain attack free? Will I throw it away and call it a fail? 

No. It wasn't a fail, because regardless of the new attack, I have felt much better not indulging in my food intolerances, fatigue wise. 

Not only do I feel better, I lost about 30 lbs and have maintained it... without exercise.

July 2015                          April 2016

I had to halt juicing for a spell and taking my MS medication, Copaxone, due to the move. Perhaps that too was a factor in the relapse? Perhaps I would have relapsed with sunshine and rainbows, blue skies and zero stress? I don't know. 

I do know this... I will fight. 

And fight, and fight and fight.

So now what? 

I will keep avoiding sugar, gluten, dairy and eggs. I will implement juicing back into my daily diet, most likely as my lunch and I will get back on track with the Copaxone shots, because that is the best effort I can make. 

On this blog, I will share recipes that are great and hopefully encourage you on your journey, whether it's you or someone you know, that has MS. I will share whatever information I learn concerning MS regarding treatment and research because knowledge is power.

We may not can control if/when or even where a MS attack will occur, but we can be in our best shape when it hits.

Keep up the fight!